Two year ago today, I woke up in one of the nicest hotels I had ever been with an excitement that is hardly possible to describe: it was LOST finale day and I had been in Los Angeles for almost a week, which was nothing but a dream. But that’s for another post.
While I could hardly wait to see how this TV show, this movement, this mind-blowing story was going to end, I also realized that it was the end of an era for thousands of people. The Lost community had grown so close. We had gotten to know each other so personally.
Adventures We Shared
We had travelled around the world together, met all across the US even as far away from the mainland as Hawai’i. We had made friends with people we’d never ever gotten to know had it not been for this phenomenon. We had shared theories, reviews, laughs, tears, jumping-on-the-couch-screaming with joy or frustration, but we weren’t bored for a minute.
Many of you know my story. Many of you know that Lost has not only changed but saved my life. But nobody can imagine how much this series, this community, this light of hope really means to me.
As I am writing this I have tears streaming down my face wanting to travel back in time, just to have the thrill once more to woke up knowing that the episode that aired the previous night in the US was waiting for me to watch.
I’d shave my head for another episode of Damon and Carlton giving nothing away about their series, but still being highly entertaining on their podcast, which to this day is my favorite podcast ever. I’d love to relive the impatience with which I waited for the newest analysis of Ryan and Jen, Jay and Jack, Stephanie and Cliff Ravenscraft, just to name a few. I’d give anything to experience the excitement before a new episode and wonder what mind-blowing developments creators were going to have in store for us.
How Lost Kept Me Alive
Those podcasts, those moments of forgetting about my troubles during watching Lost, those possibilities of fleeing my horrible reality kept me alive for a long.
When I discovered Lost, or I should say rediscover because I had been watching season 1 in German (which was awful, BTW), I had just tried to commit suicide, had dropped out of school years ago and was in the lowest point of a deep depression. I had no business living, so I thought. I had no energy, no motivation, no perspective.
I lay in bed 24/7, no energy to get up, no energy to even sleep. I was bored out of my mind and that’s when I started watching Lost, searched for podcasts about it and step by step found a way back into life. It was the bickering of Cliff and Stephanie, the sign that there were couples who loved each other, the sarcasm of Jay and Jack, which was exactly my kind of humor and the incredible kindness of Ryan and Jen that gave me the sense that life was worth living.
Over time I got to know all those Losties around the world whom I am now blessed and fortunate enough to call close friends who have gone with me through thick and then (you know who I am talking about). I had been an introvert all of my time of having an eating disorder, terrified of human interactions, almost having a nervous breakdown once the phone rang, but through the common interest in Lost, I found the courage to reach out to people, have a conversation with them and be completely myself for the first time ever.
Why Lost Changes My Life To This Day
Lost got the ball rolling and gave me the hope I so desperately needed. I left my room more often, went for long walks to get my energy back, graduated and even got married and even got rid of my eating disorder.
The tears I cried during the finale of Lost were nothing compared to how much I’ve cried before (and believe me, due to my abusive brother, those were countless). And yet I was the most grateful person in the world on that evening in the Orpheum in LA. I was surrounded by friends, had met Michael Emerson for Christ’s sake and was present at the end of something very, very special that I’ll still tell my grandchildren about.
I don’t know how my life would look like today had I not ordered the first part of Season 2 of Lost on DVD back in 2007 on Amazon. I don’t know if I’d still be alive, still locked up in my room, still lonely and probably crazy by now. What I do know is that there are no words for how much love and appreciation I have for this TV show, this incredible community and everything it has done, not just for me but for people all over the world.
I know I wouldn’t be blogging right now. I know I wouldn’t be podcasting. I know I wouldn’t be an entrepreneur and I am certain I wouldn’t enjoy life as much as I am doing it these days.
And if you ever encounter someone again who tells you TV series are a waste of time, please refer them to this page.
I owe Lost my life.
Thank you for everything.